A Lesson Learned

Long nights turned into early mornings, atomic structures became hieroglyphics to most

Taking 19 credits during your junior year sounds like a good idea, so I thought

Mating fruit flies; only to find out your professor did not clarify on the combinations of genotypes and countless generations taken place during the start of the group project 

Only to know that...

Five years ago, you have walked across the stage with a degree in hand and on a whole lot of AMBITION... in this same exact dress. The same ambition and drive landed you a position as a Histology technician trainee at the Office of Chief Medical Examiner(OCME) as your second home. You had access to grossing specimens in an autopsy suite with the first African American female Forensic Pathologist coming out of University of Maryland School of Medicine as your mentor, attending brain conferences on Wednesdays with the Medical Examiner(s), and reviewing histopathological slides with your mentor/professor. Exhilarating huh? Although your training was as a volunteer,  you knew obtaining technical skills with the name OCME  attached to your resume would lead to new endeavors; a paid position, reference(s),  acceptance letter(s), and being one step closer to becoming a Forensic Pathologist. 

This was my dream!

I had a strategic plan with age in mind. I will take a gap year! From researching different  Post-baccalaureate curriculums, revising several personal statements for the Pathologists Assistant school, skimming through various Masters programs in Public Health, and then there's medical school. Medical school was always the end goal; however, I needed a smoother transition.

But my passion shifted to the left after viewing one last icky autopsy, a reality check from my mentor, the idea of 12 years of school, $240,000 plus in debt, and a Hopkins resident asking me "what are you going to do next, if it doesn't work? "

Overwhelmed is in no comparison 

At the end of the day, it was my decision. My passion to be in the medical field was deteriorated over time. Medicine did not fulfill me. The idea of being the First African American female Chief Medical Examiner in New York City was dismissed. The back and forth between family influencing me to stay due to finances and benefits vs pretending to think this is what I want was a HOT MESS. At the end of the day, you want them to be proud of you, right?

Nope, Your happiness is what matters

It's in this same exact dress, I've decided to do just that:

-BE HAPPY in heels with a WHOLE LOT OF AMBITION!  

XO

Dress: Made by Ms. Abgail

Shoes: Marshalls

Clutch: Banana Republic